Saying "NO"- Can Save a Life

Recovery and mental health is about having healthy boundaries. Sure we can all be emotionally impacted by the people we spend time with and the moods of others. It is a problem when you feel helpless, hijacked and taken over by the requests and moods of others.

Here are some signs of NOT so healthy boundaries-

1. Having one’s self-esteem and mood decreased and negatively affected by other’s anxieties and worries

2. Measuring self-worth by outside validation.

3. Being controlled by thoughts such as: “What will they think? Am I doing it right? Do they like me?”

4. Reacting (often unconsciously) out of childhood conditioning/teachings/trauma: sudden, unexplainded flashes of intense hurt, anger resentment, shame.

5. Fear that is unequal to current reality. Fear of “hurting other’s feelings” by sharing truth.

6. Seeing the world/people as “doing it me” rather than seeing our part and exercising our power.

7. Constantly needing to soothe others, or needing others to constantly soothe you.

We need boundaries for every part of our lives. Yet when you attempt to set a boundary for the first time it can feel quite uncomfortable. You may even feel a bit ashamed or afraid to hurt someone else’s feelings when setting boundaries.

Do it anyways! Why? Because often times the people around us have no idea that they are trespassing on your feelings, thoughts, core beliefs, personal space or even your big toe unless you say something.

When a stranger bumps into you most often they will say, “Excuse me.” Why? Because they recognize that they have stepped over the limit, they have touched you without asking permission. That’s someone recognizing that they have crossed your boundary.

Often times the people who are closest to us, may not recognize or even know what your boundaries are so it’s important for you to share that with them. Otherwise you may find yourself feeling used, resentful, angry or hurt.

Did you know that nobody respects a person whom they can use? People use people they can use, and respect people they can’t use. So, setting boundaries means letting people know what your limits are so that they don’t end up accidentally or purposefully using you. It becomes win-win and a satisfying relationship for you both. Both of you will experience a sense of personal worth, value, respect and trust as you now communicate your needs more honestly and directly.

Saying "NO"- can save a life. Find out how this mom learned to say "no" to her drug abusing son and not only saved his life, but their family as well...
http://www.liferecoveryprogram.com/media.php#moviehome

This week take time to pay attention and think about and practice setting boundaries with people in your life. Start by simply learning how to honour your needs by saying NO, rather than yes every time someone asks something of you. Write them down, jot down your feelings about setting boundaries and why it’s important for you to do so. Practice this until it becomes a more natural and comfortable feeling.

Best health and warmest regards, Paul Radkowski

-Saving and transforming lives and families 24/7

info@liferecoveryprogram.com
http://liferecoveryprogram.com/