Today I’d like to talk about something that most of us want more of …i.e. self-esteem. Whether you are struggling with stress, or an addiction, a mental health issue, trauma etc. many people including some of the wealthiest, attractive and most famous people often struggle with poor self esteem or poor self image.
Self-esteem is a term we’ve all heard of, yet often times it’s referred to as that thing that we feel we either don’t have at all, or, don’t have enough of. The truth is, we all have some measure of self esteem. However our thoughts, feelings, behaviours and core beliefs can impact it on an hourly, daily and life long basis. That’s why it’s so important to take the time to look after yourself, nurture and affirm yourself and not let yourself get away with “beating yourself up” through the influence of negative thoughts, people and statements.
If you were to rate your self-esteem on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 meaning extremely high, where would you rate? Often times we use to soothe by over eating, shopping, gambling or resorting to alcohol, smoking or drugs to try to shut out our negative feelings about ourselves. However, using doesn’t change how we feel, it merely masks it and often times results in us feeling ten times worse later on i.e. increased shame and guilt. And guess what, the higher the shame, the lower the self-esteem.
Self Esteem is not about perfection! It’s about self-acceptance.
Some people have low self esteem because they have made an ongoing habit of beating themselves up for something they did or perhaps didn’t do ie “It was my fault I got into that car accident that killed my partner” or “I should have never let my child’s addiction get so out of hand”. Often folks put themselves in a Penalty Box for these kinds of things. Giving themselves a time out and more so beating themselves up for some past “crime”.
In any sport where there is something akin to a penalty box, it is imposed for only a certain time. How long are you going to keep yourself in your penalty box? What is it going to take to get yourself out? The longer you stay in one, the more damage it usually ends up doing (to self esteem etc) and the more it often keeps people stuck in an addictive and self destructive process.
The media has influenced culture, our families, friends, acquaintances, all of us, and every one of these has an effect on how we feel about ourselves. Everybody battles negative feelings about physical appearance and whether or not we’re loved, liked or disliked at some point. Even famous celebrities like Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and the late Michael Jackson seemed to fall prey to the "expectation of perfection”.
Every day is a journey towards self-discovery and self-acceptance.
If your life is spent trying to be someone that you are not, in looks, finances, weight, social circle etc… you will find yourself falling back into coping with the disappointment of imperfection or a shattered past by using to soothe your pain.
However, the key to improved self-esteem, confidence and joy, is, … self-acceptance. And it starts by consciously making a decision to choose to build yourself up, surround yourself with healthy positive supportive people and activities as well as accepting the things that you cannot change and change the things that you can.
Do something different. Take the time to “risk” exploring what’s going on inside of you so that you can gain control of your thoughts feelings and actions, which ultimately improves self-confidence and self-esteem.
Self Esteem and health is about choice. So, what choices can you make with your life today?
Best of health and warmest regards, Paul Radkowski
info@liferecoveryprogram.com
http://liferecoveryprogram.com/
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